This guy also chews more scenery than a moth left alone in a closet with some cloth scenery for several months This Russian guy meets up with a DIFFERENT bad guy, who appears to be blackmailing him. Simon is on the trail of some stolen weapons or something (I dunno who cares), so he's trailing a Russian general or colonel or whatever So they're dressed like monks for the entire film Pinette and Not-Buress dress like monks and along with Simon, have a secret headquarters in the basement of a monastery. Simon (Rodman) is an Interpol agent currently in France, where he works with John Pinette and a guy who's like a knockoff of a knockoff of a knockoff of Hannibal Buress. Against my better judgement, I will attempt to relate the story of Simon Sez:
SIMON SAYS MOVIE MOVIE
Informative! Except that's not really accurate, because he's already IN France when the movie starts and he's only roped into the "kidnapped girl" part when Dane Cook shows up. Interpol agent Simon goes on a mission in France to save a kidnapped girl and defeat an arms dealer. OH GOD NO I HAVE MADE A HORRIBLE MISTAKE The "Story" Without further ado, let's dive right in, shall we? I mean, it's an under-90-minutes movie featuring Dennis Rodman, our ambassador to the East. What's that? You weren't aware that Harrison Ford and Josh Hartnett made a buddy-cop movie together? That's right.
(See what I did there?) Just to give you an idea of the caliber of movie we're dealing with here: I purchased it as part of an eight-film, four-disc set at Target called "8 MOVIE COLLECTION: EXPLOSIVE CiNEMA." Other films on this set include Hudson Hawk and that buddy-cop movie that Harrison Ford and Josh Hartnett made together. So that means The Worm can really stretch his legs out and carry this Bad Boy. Going into this movie, the only thing I know about it is that it's the Dennis Rodman action movie that DOESN'T co-star Jean-Claude Van Damme. Which is why you're sitting here now, about to read a review of the 85-minute 1999 action film Simon Sez, starring Hall of Fame basketball player Dennis Rodman.
Which is why we're not only reviewing sports movies, but also movies STARRING sports figures. Here at SB Nation, we like to give everyone a fair shake.
0 kommentar(er)
